The Tuxedo Party is reeling after allegations have been made that Tuxedo Stan has fathered kittens!
A little-known publication, The Daily Scoop, reports that a cat named Bella claims Stan is the father of her kittens “Mini Stan” and “Stanette”.
Click here to download a PDF copy of the Newspaper
The Tuxedo Party says they will make an announcement later today to respond to the allegations. Stay tuned.
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Six hours later:
Ehis would be somewhat akin to immaculate onception, wouldnt it?
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We’re all standing behind you, Stan. We know the truth! purrs
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Take heart, Stan. The historical record shows that many great leaders, while forging the path of their destiny, wind up having to deal with a Monica.
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Keep at the truth Stan.
We believe you.
Just remember that politics was invented by humans who will stoop as low as it takes to win. Bella must have learned well from her humans or was ‘put up’ to the attempted scandal.
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Stan- I posted this on Hank for Senate’s page, but it’s worth repeating. One un-neutered male and female cat can produce 420,000 kittens in 7 years. This means that you might have hundreds of siblings, half siblings, cousins, and so on, that look like you. Don’t let the dirty politics bring down your campaign, you can rise above this. Go Stan!
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You are being framed Stan. As a neutered cat you can hold your head and tail high, and walk blameless among us.
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And what about these allegations that you puked on the carpet and scratched the furniture???
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The sad fact is, that once such spurious allegations are made, they are all the public remembers. Will the “Daily Scoop” run a headline in four inch letters that say: “Stan Exonorated!” Of course not. The best we will get is a small paragraph of a retraction on page 23. “Dirty politics” likes nothing better than to play the “sex scandal card.” The prurient interest of the public is then attracted to the scandal, rather than paying attention to what a candidate stands for. Don’t let this get you down, Stan. If you were a threat to the “powers that be” they wouldn’t be attacking you!
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Ahh come on, everyone knows all you Tuxedo’s look alike……
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Keep functioning ,great job!
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